Tuesday, May 24, 2011

The First Step

It's a long way to the top...

With a few moral adjustments, televangelist sexpot Joyce Meyer could've been this generation's Blanche Devereaux. How come Edy's has never introduced an ice cream fortified with chunks of Whatchamacallit or Kit Kat? What songs would comprise the ultimate Husker Du mixed tape? My knock on Jehovah's Witnesses is their fascination with doors. With whom would I dine at a particular bistro in Downtown Norfolk? Amber Tamblyn or Jessica Biel? Kirk Gibson's home run in the 1988 World Series is the greatest sports moment I've seen in my lifetime. Whose faces would be on a Mount Rushmore of Tidewater Virginia? Have I come close to ending my second stint of sobriety? I want to hold a beautiful baby again. What childhood game did I play with a pencil and marble? Did the Shadowlawn Bear cost Mary Kay Mallonee her position at WAVY-TV 10? My reasons for disliking The Dave Matthews Band are largely associative. What extinct McDonald's menu items do I miss the most? How would I defend Sammy Hagar's work with Van Halen? I should call my grandfather more often. When did I become a fan of the Baltimore Orioles? Remember when laundromats were makeshift arcades? Rainbow's "Street Of Dreams" is an example of a great "radio" song. Where can I find a rogue Walgreens that'll transfer album covers onto T-shirts? Which three ESPN personalities would I like to meet? I might have stopped talking to a female friend, because I wanted her to be the person she was in 1999. Why is "Crazy People" one of the best movies ever made? Remember when Taco Bell "thought inside the bun" and served "burgers" and fries? Lee Ving, Al Bundy and someone else would be on a list of Great Americans. Should cornhole become an Olympic sport? What would be stuffed inside the Hot Pockets of your dreams? It's amazing that WVEC anchorman LaSalle Banks can be called a "world champion." Why did I start ANOTHER blog? When did I discover my fear of heights?

I'm Gunther 8544, and I'll attempt to traverse these and other notches that make up the ladder of The Rung. May I never stop climbing.

1 comment:

  1. You're right, Josh. Ving does look like a young Robert De Niro.